The following will be a page I will continually update with, what I find to be, the best entries from Jefferson County Leader’s Police Log. Though I’m only sharing the funny ones, I think they actually do give you an insight into the odd community I’ve chosen to live in.
An emu was running around loose on Cape George Road on Feb. 3. The bird was seen at South Discovery Bay Road, and then another caller reported the bird at Lindsey Lane. Animal Control was dispatched to check the are, but upon arrival the bird was gone.
Two 38 year-old men began fighting at 9:56 am on Feb. 12 in the 2400 block of Washington after arguing about whether to work the entire day. The two men, who said they’ve know each other since kindergarten, had been digging a trench when the fight broke out. One man had taken most of the punches, as evidenced by red marks on his cheeks, dried blood around his mouth, and bruising and swelling on the left side of his jaw near his ear. The other was left without injury, though both appeared damp and sandy.
An emu running around Lindsey Lane prompted a call for the second week in a row. Deputies located the large, flightless bird and its owner, and warned the owner about the bird being loose and causing traffic issues.
A Hadlock woman called on Feb. 12 to get information on how to treat her sick dog. After being advised that the sheriff’s office would not pay for her dog’s medical care, she stated that she was willing to turn in several known drug users because they refused to help pay for her dog. After a brief conversation, the woman made several rude comments and hung up the phone.
A woman’s neighbor hates her dogs, apparently, which prompted the woman to call the sheriff’s office on Feb. 13 about the neighbor’s threats to have the animals impounded and euthanized for barking. The woman said the dogs bark because the neighbor screams at them.
A woman reported threats to kill her cats on Feb 14 on Hunt road. The woman said her neighbor has threatened to kill the cats, although the neighbor denies it. The neighbor said the cats use his flowerbed as a litter box, and he intends to trap them and take them to the shelter.
A 55 year-old woman called police when her 53 year-old boyfriend threatened to kill her and her dog at 8:20 am Feb. 13 in the 1500 block of Sheridan. When officers arrived, they found the man had a 0.361 blood-alcohol level.
A Port Townsend man called to report multiple crimes in progress on Feb. 19. Turns out he was suffering from hallucinations more than likely caused by controlled substances. He was released into custody of his roommate.
An intoxicated male driving a riding lawnmower on Washington Street in Quilcene was seen on Feb. 24. Deputies responded, but the subject was gone on their arrival.
A Port Ludlow woman from Baldwin Lane reported on March 9 that she feels a strange vibration in her bed during the night.
A possible home intruder was reported at a home in Trailwood Drive on March 15. When deputies arrived, the reporting party advised that it was their dog eating food from dishes on the countertops.
Four separate stop signs in the city were damaged, totaling $400 each, on March 13. An unknown person spray-painted the word “Kony” beneath the word “Stop” on the signs.
Letters on the Port Townsend welcome sign were rearranged to read “Pot Town” and ultimately “Po Town” on March 13.
A man called to report that unknown people had broken into his residence on Old Hadlock Road and left things on his coffee table on March 19. He said he was going to change his locks for the fourth time, because this is an ongoing issue.
A man reported that unknown people have been knocking on his door in the 200 block of Old Hadlock Road on March 20. He also reported missing a pair of size 32/30 jeans and a pair of size 34 underwear.
A woman reported that a suspicious person came to her house and made three calls to Montana on March 27. She did not know the number they called, but stated they had “the kind of keys burglars use.”
A Coyle woman called in about someone setting up bear bait near her home on April 10.
A woman reported on April 11 that a man said “hello” to her and “It’s a nice evening.” She told police she found this suspicious.
East Jefferson Fire Rescue responded to the Port Townsend Buisness Park shortly after midnight on April 14, after a 33 year-old Port Townsend man drove his Nissan SUV into the duck pond. Police first responded to reports of the collision only to find numerous areas of landscaping and sidewalk damaged by vehicle travel along West Sims Way, as well as along Cliff Street to West Park avenue. When police contacted the driver, officers reported the strong smell of intoxicants coming from the vehicle. Once extracted, police placed the man under arrest on charges of DUI and hit-and-run resulting in more than $5,000 in property damage. The suspect told officers that he was glad he had not injured anyone because he “could replant a tree but could not replace a life.”
A Brinnon resident called in a possible vehicle prowl on April 16. She later called back to inform deputies that the suspect may have been a raccoon causing trouble with her garbage can.
A woman’s hair beret was a point of contention when a Port Hadlock man called the sheriff’s office to report one was left in his car while he was in the QFC on April 16.
A Port Hadlock man reportedly assaulted himself on April 16.
A Kingston man was arrested for possession of heroin, methamphetamine, marijuana, and possession of drug paraphernalia on April 17. He was arrested in the Jefferson County Sheriff’s Office parking lot.
Deputies were advised on April 23 that a man wearing a red shirt was exposing his genitals to motorists along highway 101 in Quilcene. Deputies were unable to located the subject.
On May 1, a Quilcene man reported a large garbage bag full of marijuana was hidden near a culvert outlet. Deputies determined the bag was full of used cat litter.
A 61 year-old Port Townsend male was arrested for driving with a suspended license on May 26, despite explaining to officers that as a “sovereign citizen,” he was not required to carry a driver’s license or proof of insurance.
An unincorporated Port Townsend resident reported Aug. 6 she had a dream she was choking and called 911. She was located and determined to be fine.
A Quilcene woman reported Aug. 11 her neighbor had been exposing himself while picking huckleberries. He denied the allegations and the case has been forwarded to the county prosecutor’s office.
An assault was reported Aug. 21 between multiple drunken subjects in the 100 block of Garden Court Road in the Port Hadlock area. When questioned, none of the subjects could remember exactly what happened.
A man threatened another man at an Irondale grocery store, Aug. 26. The first subject said he wouldn’t leave the store until the second man brought back Barack Obama. The first subject was contacted by deputies and found to have a mental disorder.
A disturbance was reported on Aug. 27 at Lake Leland. A woman kicked her drunk husband out of the car and drove away, making him walk. Deputies could not locate the husband.
A report was made about possible narcotics on Aug 29. The responding deputy determined the material in question was the flavoring for Top Ramen noodle soup.
A 22 year-old Port Townsend man reported on Oct. 26 his white Toyota Echo was stolen from the area of the Bell Tower. About an hour later an officer noticed the stolen vehicle driving on 19th Street and called for backup. Officers stopped the stolen vehicle in the 500 block of Sheridan Street, only to find the owner driving the car. He told officers he had forgotten where he parked, found his car, but failed to call police to tell them it wasn’t actually stolen.
A male suspect was arrested for third degree theft and false reporting Oct. 21. The suspect initially stole items from the Port Hadlock QFC and fled to a nearby residence. When deputies arrived at the residence, the suspect called 911 and made a false report of a shooting in progress to lure the deputies away from himself. He was booked into the Jefferson County jail at 4:09 am.
A Port Hadlock woman called to report an unknown suspect sending a picture of male genitals to her cell phone. A deputy left a voicemail on the sender’s answering machine warning the person against sending future texts of a similar nature.
A 48 year-old woman reported on Oct. 30 that she was robbed while sleeping at the Kah Tai Lagoon Nature Park restrooms early in the morning. The woman told police that between 6:30 and 8:30 a.m., she was dreaming that someone was pulling her on her arm, but she now believes the dream was real. The woman reported medications and personal items were stolen. There are no suspects.
A Port Hadlock woman called Oct. 30 to report her teenage son was picking on his little sister. A deputy responded to the scene and determined no crime had been committed.
Deputies contacted a transient male in the Port Hadlock area on Nov. 3 and educated him regarding the etiquette of reading adult materials in public.
Port of Port Townsend security called 911 Nov. 27 after a 35 year-old man fell in the water at Boat Haven. Officers arrived to find the highly intoxicated man nude and unable to control his bodily functions. The man suffered lacerations while pulling himself to shore. East Jefferson Fire Rescue was summoned and the man was transported to the hospital.
A 27 year-old Port Townsend woman reported on Feb. 8 that while her car was parked at the QFC grocery store on the 200 block of Tyler Street, someone crawled into the vehicle and shaved the tail of her dog. The dog sustained a slight injury, and the suspect apparently stole the shaved dog fur.
A Chimacum male called 911 on Feb. 25 to report his feline had flatulence. He was told if he abused the 911 system, he could be arrested.
A deputy spoke with a resident dancing in the parking lot of Hadlock Vision Clinic, Feb. 27.
A deputy contacted the owner of a disabled vehicle along SR 20 Feb. 27. The owner managed to fix his vehicle with duct tape and get under way.
A neighbor called 911 after seeing a man lying on the porch of a home in the 2200 block of Rainer Street, Feb. 28. Officers contacted the man and learned he was the boyfriend of the female resident. The man had come home intoxicated around 2 a.m. and the girlfriend had given him a blanket and a cup of water and told him to sleep outside. Officers gave the man a ride to a friend’s house. (Note: it’s FEBRUARY)
Deputies were dispatched April 15 to Egg and I Road, Chimacum, after receiving a report of a woman acting zombie-like. The woman in question was located alive and healthy.
Officers responded July 19 with East Jefferson Fire Rescue to a report of a brush fire at Kah Tai Lagoon Nature Park. When officers arrived they found a bicyclist standing beside a charred post at the Landes Street trailhead. The man said he was riding along and noticed the post was engulfed in flames so he sprang into action. He emptied two beers on the fire, but it continued to smolder. Without any beer left, the man said he urinated on the post to finish extinguishing the blaze. Officers praised the man as a hero of sorts, and he joked that the city should buy him two beers as compensation. Upon investigation, it appeared someone may have put out a cigarette on the post, which was already rotten, and the dry wood caught on fire.