Better Parenting through Coffee

Let me just start by saying that I am not a coffee addict.  I know this sounds like a denial, but it’s true.  What I will admit, is that coffee has assumed a new role in my life as a parent.  Like toilet paper, it has become one of those daily necessities that makes life more bearable, and some days you need more of it than others.  For the first few sleepless months of babyhood, you need a lot of it.  Thankfully, Josie is now a toddler and sleeping around 12 hours a night, so most of the time I don’t look like this in the morning:

Sometimes though Josie has a rough night, and I’ll take on the pallor of the undead.  This is me without coffee after one of those nights.  Not very flattering is it?  Luckily, as a stay-at-home parent, toddlers really don’t care what you look like.  In fact, I spend a large chunk of my day every day intentionally making faces like this for the amusement for my daughter.  But this is not the face of an engaged parent.  This is the face of a zombie, and they’re not very good parents.  Here, I am quiet, disengaged, impatient and cranky.  Favorite parenting activities in this state include rubbing temples, reading the newspaper and staring into space speculating on whether our health insurance policy covers vasectomies.

This is me on coffee.  Notice the difference?  This is a good parent, and you’d know it if you could hear the hysterical giggles coming from my daughter.  I’m engaged, animate and happy.  Favorite activities in this state include talking rapidly in a high voice, aerobic hide and seek, and pretending to throw my daughter into a river.  Toddlers love it when you pretend to toss them in a river, or dangle them from their ankles over a deck, or grab them by their little wrists and spin them around on the lawn like an Olympic hammer thrower.  Coffee gives me the energy to do all this, and for it my daughter laughs a lot more, and I’m a better parent. Coffee – making sleep-deprived parents more human for the past thousand years.


2 thoughts on “Better Parenting through Coffee

  1. You are so funny and so truthfull… I still need my coffee, and have no toddler… But, am so anxious to see yours… You have the best face for all the animated faces to make Josie smile… That is an important quality…

  2. Love it!!!! I am the SAME WAY!!!!! With me,,,,,it would seem that sleep is a comofrt of the past! With three kids, it is as if they sit around planning who has what night! A converstaion that goes something like this
    “I want Mon and Wed night, but I can’t give up much more sleep then that. I am a growing girls and need my rest.” Haylee, the oldest
    “I want mom,,,I want mom,,,I want mom!!!” Henasee my second
    “Mom,,,boob,,,,mom,,,,boob,,,mom,,,boob!” Hadlee my third!
    Love it!!!!
    By the way,,,,you are a wonderful writer!!! I have a few blogs that I have followed, off and on, and yours is very entertaining!

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