Why having a toddler is like being at a frat party

My brother, who incidently was in a frat in college, sent me this.  Although both our little ones aren’t quite toddlers yet, I’m looking forward to re-reading this post in about a year.

10.  There are half-full, brightly-colored plastic cups on the floor in every room.  Three are in the bathtub.
9. There’s always that one girl, bawling her eyes out in a corner.
8. It’s best not to assume that the person closest to you has any control over their digestive function.
7. You sneak off to the bathroom knowing that as soon as you sit down, someone’s going to start banging on the door.
6. Probably 80% of the stains on the furniture contain DNA.
5. You’ve got someone in your face at 3 a.m. looking for a drink.
4. There’s definitely going to be a fight.
3. You’re not sure whether anything you’re doing is right, you just hope it won’t get you arrested.
2. There are crumpled-up underpants everywhere.
1. You wake up wondering exactly how and when the person in bed with you got there.


One thought on “Why having a toddler is like being at a frat party

  1. This is so true, concise, and hysterical! You may get a kick out of my excerpts I’m posting each week from “The Motherhood Manual: I have all the answers.” A new post comes out weekly on motherhood; tomorrow’s post is entitled “Knockers in the Woods…and I’m not talking doors.” You can check out my blog at http://twyste.com or just the posts from the motherhood series at http://themotherhoodmanual.com

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